What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Do you think there will ever be a movie that features a line such as “You graduated at the top of your class in liberal arts, we need your help”?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

We’re About To Talk To Dolphins… But Are We Ready To Hear The Truth? - The Daily Galaxy

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why do I get stressed when I go to bed?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Astronomers are stunned after the quiet development of the largest telescope ever built in China. - Farmingdale Observer

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Do people of NYC drive around Central Park all the time? Is there any subway tunnel to cross the park quickly? Is it annoying for people and does it cause traffic?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Can I see some anal hole?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Do interviewers discriminate against a candidate if he or she is overweight (assuming physical fitness is NOT part of the job requirements)?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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